ATLANTA, GA — Police officers reported over the weekend that multiple noise complaints were filed by neighbors in the Dunwoody area. These sources implicate a man only known as "Eirik," 19, that was heard yelling at his television in the middle of the night. "I waited five years," Eirik responded in a recent interview. "Five damn years." "Normally when I hear some sort of commotion coming from a neighbor's house at night, I assume it's the damn newlyweds that are always yelling," says Brian Millhouse, a neighbor of Eirik. "You can imagine how surprised I was when I heard some guy yelling about some video game then." Upon further investigation, police officers confirmed that the source of such distress was the unveiling of Mario Kart 8; Eirik had been 1 of the 17 owners of Nintendo's secretly launched "Wii U" console and felt obligated to purchase the video game. He would be charged with multiple noise violations, underage drinking, verbal harassment, and resistance of arrest. "They don't even fucking understand how insane that game makes you," Eirik finished. "Seriously, why in the fuck would a single green in last ever be a good idea?"